say what you need to say...

discussing how I feel like I live my life in fear and regret the other night has stuck with me. Can't help but hate that I feel that way...but I also don't like the alternative...and no middle ground is in sight. Does everyone feel this way? How does everyone else feel?

I don't like that I have nightmares about twice a week...waking up in a panic, out of breath and sweating is not a pleasant end to a night.

Just wish I had time to think to myself...I need to start a new written journal...writing in those always seems cooler.

sigh, off to the bars.

funny that I don't even really like going out...likeminded people must meet somewhere else because I mostly see douchebags and hookers, but I'll go anyways so I can drink.




scared to know where people like me hang out...comic stores, gamestops, libraries, coffee/bars in dallas...funny that I've spent a great deal of time trying to be different but I often feel like I'm too different and don't really fit in to one place...which is my greatest strength and weakness...it's nice to feel like you relate to everyone but sucks that almost no one is a good fit.