I'm so reluctant to go back to any way I've been before. Even though I'm quite sure that some of my older ritualistic behaviors are far superior to the ones I currently use. What I keep trying to remember is: was I really less happy then or am I just unhappy all the time? Is there no right answer and this is just the way I am? Damned if I do, damned if I don't or is there some correct way to handle these matters... not really sure. Sorry for being vague, but I gave this site to more people than originally intended so I don't want to be specific. Funny given that no one probably actually reads this. Other than the girls I made out with apparently.