too many fb updates

I think that for a week it'd be fun if, when people ask me 'is that your girlfriend', rather than just saying yes that I sigh first. It'll make for interesting conversation I think. Don't you wish YOU were with me?

At my wedding I'm going to ask the best man and bridesmaid to step forward and repeat the vows with the bride and groom but make them say i do first and then say GOTCHA! YOU'RE married now. And that's the story of how Oz will get married.

I recently went to the dr to get my annual testing done. I know I'm free of all the major STDs except for one. It was a one time thing in Vegas but I really hope I come back Zombie free. Stupid sexy Vegas graveyards.

I'll probably add as the day goes on...

The UN headquarters in New York reportedly has found bed bugs in the building. Just more evidence that the government is sleeping on the job.

I subbed for a fourth grade class today. Good kids but when asked to check their problems I was having more trouble than they were. 1 hour and 3/4 an hour before 7:52...what?

Really--listening to, or singing along to journey is only excusable if alcohol is somehow involved.

However...singing 'shot through the heart...and you're to blame...darling you give love...a bad name, bad name' is allowed on any occasion--including: funerals, in the midst of a wedding, and job interviews.

for the random ones

I don't like to litter...but I also don't like to walk very far for a trash can.

I think hippies should be drafted first. Because come on...that's funny.

I wish life could be edited by html...but I'd probably still be too lazy to learn how to use it.

I wish alcohol had no negative side effects and was as acceptable as it was in the 50s...stupid cancer...ruins everything awesome.

Dogs most likely came from one common ancestor and now, due to our careful breeding, we have over 150. Makes you wonder how people would look if we carefully bred ourselves. Birth control for everyone and carefully selected breeding to produce the most beneficial offspring. I'm down.

Speaking of that...when I was reading Brave New World they said that they would condition the children of the different castes from day one to enjoy the job they will have...I think that is not a bad idea.

Skins

For anyone who is a fan of this show...I hope this makes you want to cry. It is already clear to me with the excessive censorship in america that the show would never work as well as it's UK partner. When I heard it was coming here I held out hope though--a show that showed a slightly grittier portrayal of teens--in the US this time. Might be ok. But from watching this preview it's the SAME STORY. A few races and names changed but the same. I thought they'd at least have an original story line since american teens and british teens have fairly different lives. But regardless...why remake the entire show when it's already been done...and well at that? This is bollocks and I'm boycotting this crap.

I'm giving up

I'm just going to watch Nightmare before christmas more than once before halloween...this song has got to get out of my head.

I am the one hiding under your bed...teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red
I am the one hiding under your stairs...fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair
this is halloween this is halloween halloween halloween halloween halloween
in this town we call home
everyone hail to the pumpkin song.

AHHHH!!!

Founding fathers

I am so very tired of hearing what the founding fathers intended when they wrote the constitution. Who cares what they intended? They were mostly slaveholders who believed that women shouldn't have the right to vote. So why would we care? The constitution was made to be very basic so it could adapt with the times much like our government. So if something (like the law that stated that african americans would recieve 3/5's of a vote) is viewed as outdated or absurd we can change it. So saying what the founding fathers would have wanted is moot.

nawww

guess what sounds an awful lot like you're a slut...don't make this mistake with your significant other like I did.

a nice surprise

always good to log on to pay my cell phone bill only to see I was apparently being a super responsible drunk a few nights ago and paid it already. Score one for drunk Brandon--he normally makes me so mad....but apparently amidst the erratic behavior and embarrassing confessions to random people he remembered to pay my bills. Thank you sir.

I've got nothing to say of substance

Very possible that the title of this entry should be the blog title. Might change that. But I oh so love Magenta colored fries and yellow skies.

It has recently occurred to me that women do not make sense to me. Well recent as in age 5.

When I was 5 I had a crush on the dirty girl in class. I can't remember her name but I remember she wore her shoes on the wrong feet. I dug it. I wonder if I saw a girl now with her shoes on the wrong feet if I'd be turned on?

It has recently occurred to me that people in general don't make sense to me(I was going to say men but then it occured the whole transgender community and my rush to put a label is possibly ill advised since I don't understand transgender people any better than I understand other men or women).

Why do women wear shoes that are uncomfortable? Especially if they usually only wear them for the instant you first see them and then carry them around all night. Only to walk barefoot all night. Why would you buy something to carry. If you just wore wrist/ankle weights all night and no shoes from the get go you would at least get a work out. Maybe the shoes these women are wearing are on the wrong feet...hmm back to the dirty girl/turn on possibility.

Really if you wore your shoes on the wrong foot I'd think you were stupid. Kindergarten=groovy Mid-twenties=retarded.

My best friend and I have debated if we'd hook up with someone retarded if she was the most gorgeous person we'd ever seen and she wasn't like hardcore retarded just....simple. This debate has, at times, lasted hours. Ask yourself...and be honest.

This blog is old...there is random stuff in it. Peruse if you feel like it.

Had to be finger printed today. These things worry me b/c what if some crime was committed and my prints are there. Perhaps an elaborate scheme... happenstance. I'm regularly worried that someone from the future will come back to screw me over/kill me because I'm destined to do something awesome (damn you terminator). But my lack of steady employment/laziness imply that I'm not destined for anything great and the only people who'd want to come from the future to now to screw me over would be an ex. But--to that possible terminator ex--if I had known that you were going to possess time travel, I NEVER would have ended it. Just come back to before I end it and tell me. We could be happy together, baby. I promise. I ruv roo.

In the event that no ex ever does this and therefore this post isn't deleted in some sort of time paradox I would like my current squeeze, Lacey, to know....j/k.

I've decided facebook is evil and a bad influence...so any and all thoughts/status update stuff is going on here from now on.